Four seasons of my daughter's life

Four Seasons

Chinese believe that life can be described in four seasons that is spring, summer, autumn and winter. The difference is, everybody has different life span and different fate, therefore, the period of seasons are different too.

Betty had only 14 years of life, this was very short, but it could still be divided into four seasons.

Spring

From birth to starting school, that was her spring. It looked like the blossoming, full of hope and happiness.

Summer

From five to ten years old, everything was in the stage of maturing – full of energy.

Autumn

From ten to twelve years old, when her illness started to show signs and symptoms, but nobody really paid attention. Nobody realized the horror. It was just like the leaves having turned yellow and fell off.

Winter

Betty’s last two years was her winter. Betty’s illness was getting worse; the cells in her entire body did not get enough energy, and were dying slowly. The body function was slowing down, and then stopped. When the brain cells all died, her life finished.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (7)

Betty's first year--continue (7)

Every morning, we took Betty and let her at the day-care center but without the baby bag now because the center took care of the diapers and clothes although we needed to bring the bottles of milk or baby food. The caregivers at the center thought Betty was very lovely, cute, and very tiny, just liked a doll. Everybody wanted to hug her.

When Betty was about 8 months old, we bought a baby walker. She could move her little feet and went around the house. She was so tiny that sometimes she moved underneath the table. It was very funny.

At one year old, Betty weighted only 13 lbs. Other babies of the same age started walking but Betty could only crawl. In fact, she didn’t take her first step until she was 18 months old. In her first year, it seemed that she had no serious illness. She looked normal – only she was so tiny.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (6)

Betty's first year--continue (6)

It was difficult to adjust to being away from Betty after spending 16 weeks with her. I used to cry in the office, missing her.

Three months later, the Children Place day-care center called to say they had a spot for my Betty. Of course, I was delighted. Mrs. Lee was sad – she has bonded with Betty.

Children Place has so many children, ranging from a few weeks old to ten years old. Betty was seven months old and in the baby group which was for ages from six weeks to 18 months. One provider looked after three babies. The children played together, drew pictures together, sang together, etc. This trains children to live in groups. We thought this was a good idea. Betty might feel lonely at Mrs. Lee house.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (5)

Betty's first year--continue (5)

At 7 a. m. every morning every morning, Patrick and I would take Betty to Mrs. Lee’s house. We left her there together with the usual baby bag (bottles of milk, change of clothing, diapers and toys). I avoided working overtime (although Patrick sometimes has to work overtime) so as to ensure that Betty was picked up by me or by both of us at 5 p. m. everyday.

Mrs. Lee was an experienced, loving babysitter. Her children have all grown up. Betty was the only baby in her care. Mrs. Lee had a big window in front of her house. She would hold Betty and stand in front of the window waiting for us every time we arrive to pick Betty up. It made such a warm, lovely picture.

On the weekends, the three of us would go to Chinatown for lunch and the supermarket for Chinese food. Sometimes, we went to the malls. We carried Betty in a baby basket until she grew too big for that, and then we went around with her in a stroller. Strangers used to come up to look Betty and told me how lovely she was.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (4)

Betty's first year--continue (4)

I had registered for a place in a place in a day-care center near my work place right before Betty was born but I had not heard from them, which meant only one thing – it still had no spot for Betty. Meanwhile, my 16-week maternity leave was about to end and I had to return to work soon. The one alternative is to hire temporary babysitter while waiting to hear from the day-care center. We saw an advertisement in a small local Chinese newspaper, which said:” a middle-age Chinese lady was willing to look after children at her home”. We also noticed that her address was near our home. So we contacted her. She was Mrs. Lee. Her fee was quite standard (even though it is equivalent to half my monthly salary) and as we could afford it, I took on. We will just use the help of Mrs. Lee until we get a spot at the day-care center when I could apply for Government subsidy.

When my maternity leave ended, I went back to work. Soon after, I changed job. Still working in the same area, in a high-tech company, but the salary was much higher. Patrick worked in another high-tech company in the same area.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (3)

Betty's first year--continue (3)

At one month, Betty weighted only 7 lbs., just slightly heavier than when she was born. We didn’t know and couldn’t find out what was the reason? They thought, “little mother, like daughter”, I was a small-framed woman: 5 feet tall and weighted 100 lbs.

When Betty was about three months old, one day, she had diarrhea. She wouldn’t drink anything, not milk nor glucose solution. We rushed her to the emergency clinic (ER) in the Children Hospital for Eastern Ontario, CHEO. This was Betty’s first time at the children hospital; she was to become a regular patient there, and passed away 14 years later in the same hospital!

Betty’s first time at the children hospital’s ER was for her diarrhea. After the doctor examined her, he said that was common for a baby and advised us to change the milk formula. We went home, changed the formula but kept the glucose solution in order to avoid dehydration. After two days, she was fine. She still drank very little and grew up very slowly.

My book "Melas Angels"--Betty's first year (2)

Betty's first year--continue (2)

A few days later, my parents and my brother and sister all came to visit us. All of them were fighting to hold Betty.

Patrick’s family was still living in Hong Kong and had not yet immigrated to Canada, so we just called them through long distance calls to give them the good news, and also sent them photographs of Betty.

At that time, the Government policy was for staff to take a maximum of 16 weeks maternity leave at 60% basic salary. I took the option of taking the maximum leave to stay home to look after Betty.

Baby Betty was not easy to look after. She woke up and cried every second hour round the clock. It was exhausting to say the least.

Betty could drink 2 oz. of milk each feeding, I was not sure if this was because she was tired after sucking the 2 oz. of milk. When a visiting nurse came to my house a month later to visit Betty and me, I explained the situation to her. The nurse suggested I fed Betty with some glucose solution and alternate it with milk if Betty wakes up every two hours. She didn’t find anything wrong with Betty.